It has occurred to me that I carry some significant emotional baggage. And I gotta say, for the most part, it isn't mine.
I have let go of all of the ridiculous crap that happened to me when I was younger. I have harnessed (for the most part) my willingness to destroy my life with bad choices. Hell, I've even decided not to be a gi-normo-slut just because I can (that was a close one).
But every day, when I step in to my office, I am immediately and utterly cluttered with the emotional baggage of the people around me. I have co-workers who depend on me like a housewife uses Xanax. I am the "mood stabilizer." My stress level rises exponentially over the course of the day because they rely on me to make it all better. Peroxide the scrapes and, with a wisk of my wand of happiness, make that bad boo-boo go away.
It's exhausting. At the end of the day, I am left with very little to give myself or anyone that I love. How do you put on a cheerful voice for your boyfriend when you can't find the energy to get off the couch?
I know that the posts lately seem all doom and gloom, and maybe it's just the damn sunny weather, but really, I can't seem to get the idea out of my head that far, far, far away is a much better place than here.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The damn weather...
I...can't...stand...spring. Seriously.
It's nice that the light is out longer...unless you are a night person and you can't bear that you need black-out curtains to go to bed in a timely manner and actually get to sleep.
It's great that people are having bar-b-ques in my little neighborhood...unless you happen to HATE thumpy music after 10PM and cars with "special" mufflers designed to make you want to snap the neck of the driver.
The other insanely bad thing about spring? It means that it's even evil-er sister, Summer, is right around the corner. Days of unbearable heat and the mad dash from the house to the car, the car to the office and back again (God help you if you have to go outside at mid-day for errands or to get lunch. Just kill yourself now). Even later hours at the neighborhood bar-b-ques with the thumpy music. 5AM sun coming though the windows instead of mercifully staying behind the eastern mountains where it belongs. The dog's new sleeping schedule which includes the 5AM wakeup. And the overwhelmingly obnoxious "spring colors." Does it seem to anyone like I am a pale-green-flower-pattern sort of person? Hmmmmmmmm? Does it?!?
Spring. Whoopee.
It's nice that the light is out longer...unless you are a night person and you can't bear that you need black-out curtains to go to bed in a timely manner and actually get to sleep.
It's great that people are having bar-b-ques in my little neighborhood...unless you happen to HATE thumpy music after 10PM and cars with "special" mufflers designed to make you want to snap the neck of the driver.
The other insanely bad thing about spring? It means that it's even evil-er sister, Summer, is right around the corner. Days of unbearable heat and the mad dash from the house to the car, the car to the office and back again (God help you if you have to go outside at mid-day for errands or to get lunch. Just kill yourself now). Even later hours at the neighborhood bar-b-ques with the thumpy music. 5AM sun coming though the windows instead of mercifully staying behind the eastern mountains where it belongs. The dog's new sleeping schedule which includes the 5AM wakeup. And the overwhelmingly obnoxious "spring colors." Does it seem to anyone like I am a pale-green-flower-pattern sort of person? Hmmmmmmmm? Does it?!?
Spring. Whoopee.
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