The Queen is Dead! Long Live the Queen!

As the self-proclaimed queen of romantic love, I, Melinda Lisle, renounce my crown. I give it away to whatever poor soul decides that it is worth the pain (and the crown hair...yuk) just to have the possible glory of saying, "See, I told you that love is perfect like a Disney movie! Nanner-freaking-nanner!"

Since I consider myself a veteran of the wars, I can say with a certainty that only comes with age and dismemberment of vital heart parts that romantic love is bull-puckey.

All those things that people tell you about how great it will be when you find the one, and you look at them for the first time, and just know? Yeah, that only works when "the one" looks at you the same way. I know this because I have fallen in love with people and had them not love me back. Trust me, it's as bad as it sounds.

Otherwise, what you have is a serious case of the one-sideseez. These usually include declarations of love that are not returned, lots of sleepless nights, and crying to yourself in the bathroom. So, you know, the usual.

HOWEVER, non-romantic love is the SCHNIZIT!!

It may be great to have someone tell you that they romantic love you, but (and I speak from experience here) someone telling you that they love you can be:
1. A lie
2. Half-hearted (no pun intended)
3. A preamble for something a little less awesome like, "I love you, just not like that..." (Sidebar - REALLY F***ER? REALLY? 'CAUSE YOU SEEMED TO LOVE MY VAGINA LIKE THAT. I"M JUST SAYIN'.)
4. It could mean that they love you like they envision love to be, which usually includes hitting, yelling, generally unpleasant behavior, or an intense desire for you to only do what they want you to do.

Non-romantic love, kind of like that chicken soup that your mom made you when you had the sniffles, provides the following (as an alternative to the crappy list):
1. stability
2. fun (yes fun can be had when you aren't worried about all that other nonsense)
3. sarcasm (people in romantic love are far too serious to be sarcastic about their dumb behavior)
4. caring. (yes, I said caring)

I much prefer the man who says, "I don't love you. I care about you. I want to spend time with you. I want to see where this is going," to the man who says, "I love you forever," but only means for the next five minutes.

So I relinquish this crown. And I gotta say, it's kinda nice to not have the dent in my forehead.