(And I will soon learn how to make those names in to links, I swear. Brillance where brillance is due.)
Top Ten Things I Wish I Could Say or That I Should Say to Certain People
1. Don't talk about me being fat when you are a fat lazy fucker yourself, you self-righteous prick.
2. Stop telling me that your fiancee is so awesome. Really. Stop.
3. You dog is ill-mannered and dumb. I don't care that you think she is fantastic and you are glad you rescued her. She...is...dumb (and fat because you feed her instead of making her mind).
4. I am not as smart as you. This fact is a total turn-on. Do me while we argue about politics.
5. You are a friend to me when it is convenient for you. Loser. I am an awesome friend all the time.
6. You hurt me worse than I have ever been hurt by anyone or anything. And I still love you.
7. I don't believe in Jesus as the son of God, and I never will, and I'm sorry that you do and that you want me to so that I don't go to hell. You're pretty cool otherwise.
8. I evny your serenity, and it makes me want to kick you really, really hard.
9. Please let me in when you are upset. It doesn't do to only show me the good parts. That's not who you are.
10. Tell me that you love me. I will lay down in traffic for you if you tell me that you love me and mean it. That's why I don't call you.
Disclaimer: If you are reading this, then it is not about you.
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